The Inner Critic, Success and Failure
There is such a thing as the thought behind the thought. This thought behind the thought is often hidden from us. It is the sponsoring thought from which the conscious thoughts arise. The sponsoring thought has a large effect on your life. It is responsible for much of the mysterious events that you end up calling unexpected good fortune, luck, and of course problems and disasters. Especially the recurring misfortunes that you just can't seem to explain. Just because you are not aware of your sponsoring thought does not mean it does not work in your life to create conditions and events around you.
Let us now journey into the secret world of the sponsoring thought and it's equally hidden counterpart the Inner Critic. At the end of this journey, you will have moved a step further towards understanding and creating success in your life.
In a sense, the sponsoring thought can also be called the disowned underlying belief system developed over the years as you faced various life situations and pivotal people in your life. Let us look at an example of a goal you may have and the sponsoring thought that brings up that goal. All sponsoring thoughts are of two natures only: love and fear. There is no other alternative. Depending on their nature, you definitely end up with very different results. They key, therefore, is to look at their nature and if it is fear based, transform that fear and then go for the goal if you still wish to go for it. You have to fix the foundation first if you wish to have a strong and stable building. The nature of the sponsoring thought is the foundation. Ok, let us begin.
1. Pick a goal that you have wished to accomplish.
For our example, we shall assume that you wish to buy a new BMW X5, those new four wheel drive BMWs. Nice, aren't they? You can pick any goal - it could be things you wish to get, people you wish to date, a health standard you wish to attain, a job task you wish to accomplish - anything. The process is the same.
2. Relax yourself totally and drop the mental noise that you usually have in your head.
3. Imagine yourself living your life after you have achieved your goals.
See yourself doing whatever you would do with your new BMW X5. Fantasize for a few minutes. Notice the attitude you would have, if it changes, the way you would talk to people about your new car, the differences it would make, and so on. Be honest.
4. You are now going to have a private conversation in your head.
You know that voice in your head that always criticizes you? Most people think the Inner Critic is an inseparable part of them. It is not. At birth you did not have it. It is that separate voice that says 'but you can't do that' or 'you are not dressed well for that' or 'what will they say when you do that', and so on. This Inner Critic has a mind of its own. It is built over the years as you face situations in your life that scared you or people that criticized you and made you feel worthless. Even minor events have a great effect - like being rejected buy a beautiful girl in school may have contributed greatly to your Inner Critic. The development and dimensions of our Inner Critics is too large a subject to cover in this article but all you need for now is to know that the critic started out as a way to protect you from getting into situations that you interpreted as threatening in the past, but it grows to completely take over your life and, in extreme cases, paralyze and depress a person. All inner critics come from a point of fear and feelings of low self-worth. Now, separate yourself from your Inner Critic and ask it this question: 'Why do you think I should have that BMW?' Listen to whatever answer comes back. Your mind will just answer you in that familiar voice that is always in your head. Don't block it. Drop your pride. No one else is listening.
5. At first, you will probably hear an answer that goes something like this:
'Well, it is a great car and you will enjoy it. Just get it because you love it.' For a very small minority of people on earth, this would be enough. These are the few people with hardly any remaining fear in them, all past cleared, and I must tell you that right now that number is probably less than 2% of our population. For these people, their sponsoring thought is simply a love for good cars and pleasurable driving, a love for a luxurious life. For the rest, another 'why' is needed. Ask your critic again. 'Don't you thing my present car is good enough for me? What do you think the new one will do for my image that you feel I really need fixed? Tell me honestly, where do you think I am screwing up that you feel this BMW will help me get better?' Ask your Inner Critic questions that deal with self-worth and fear issues.
6. The answer will probably come out more critical now, something like:
'Well, your present car is OK but you get no respect in that. And people in your job are driving better cars. They think you are not worth much. What else would they think? Have you noticed how they look at you? You have to make a statement and right now you are not making one. You look little. And what do you think your clients think of you?
7. Keep going:
'But why are you so afraid of me being laughed at and all that? What in the past did I do that has annoyed you so much that I have to meet these standards you are setting up for me?' The answer may come back as something like: 'Because ever since you were a child you embarrassed us with your performance and appearance. We felt belittled every time those kids in school ignored us because we did not fit. We were always the smaller side show. This has to stop. It cannot happen again...'
'How would you feel if it happened again?'
What you are doing now is becoming conscious of your inner critic instead of being run by it. You then quiz it until you get to it's bottom line motivators. It is always a reaction to a fear that was built in your childhood by criticism from your parents, teachers, peers, or by an event that you judged important to you in which you feel you 'failed'. These situations and criticisms can leave a scar, making you feel unworthy and fearful. Over the years, your personality develops an Inner Critic that fights to ensure that you will not get into such a situation again. Unfortunately, the Inner Critic goes to far and builds even more fear on top of the original, all in an attempt to avoid the original situation. And because it influences your thoughts, it creates your life situations and conditions. We become what we think about. All creations that arise out of fear are doomed to fall apart sooner or later. And the creator of things from fear always lives in fear of loosing them. They bring no lasting comfort. They even cause addition, workaholism, and stress. Worst of all, because the fear has not been healed, it keeps bringing up recurring painful events and a person keeps asking 'why does this always seem to happen to me!'
The solution is to heal the original cause, to turn the sponsoring thought from fear into love. In summary, the way you heal is simply to do the opposite of what you have always been doing. You have been denying and hiding these dark sides of yourself all your life. They have been your disowned selves, your shadows. Bring them to the light now. Own them, embrace them, watch them objectively with a smile. They brought you certain gifts. See what they are. For example, a person who was ridiculed for laziness may have learnt how to be industrious simply to prove themselves. Now is the time to embrace your 'hated' lazy side and let it be. It gave you a desire to industry. Now let it teach you to relax. Embrace the shadow side. It is still you. Accept it and love it just as you love the light side. And in a process that you cannot explain in words, you will feel free, empowered and lighter! What you resist persists, what you bring to the light transforms and releases you. The process is actually done for you by your higher mind.
Once you are all clear, you can now see whether you still wish to pursue your goal. Sometimes you may find that you no longer find it meaningful. If you still wish to pursue it, you can now do it from a position of love and nothing will block you for you will no longer have fear-based past issues coming up to sabotage your progress.
For those of you who are skeptical about all this, here is a little scientific evidence. You must have heard that people use, on average, only 10% of their brain. Science has now discovered that DNA strands have 64 codes but only 20 or so are in use on average. Now here is the funny thing. When a person is in fear and stress, their brain usage actually falls and less of the DNA nodes open up for use. When coming from a point of love (meaning acceptance, joy, no stress, trusting in the loving and safe nature of the universe), their vibration rises and opens up more brainpower and DNA nodes. This is not too surprising when you consider the fact that a person's power (at work, in life, in health, etc) rises when they raise their knowledge and love and falls when they don't.
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Article written by David Cameron Gikandi